do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
