the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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