do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
