Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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