she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
