it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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