it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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