1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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