Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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