:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize