I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
