if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
