I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
