Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize