I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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