We won't sleep together?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
