it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
