I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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