Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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