just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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