How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
