I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
