Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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