eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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