I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
