is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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