hotel room ftw
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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