I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me