did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy