the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.