Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.