Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
