You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
