Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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