I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
