My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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