Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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