After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
