she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
