You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs