I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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