remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
