I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
