I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize