you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
