It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
