if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize