guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
