your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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