i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
