It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
