i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
