i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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