Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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