I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We are two peas in an std pod
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
