I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
whose parrot is this?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
