The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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