I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
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