She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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